olivia ong fades away...

I just wanna say hello to you
But you’re not lookin’ my way
Like you trying to act cool
I think I lost my mind
Back there and then
Oh how I let my feelings go

You see, I know it’s just a crush
And a crush won’t ever last long
No one’s forcing it, boy
So you I’ll put aside
Thought friends we would be
Oh, boy…

*Sadly you took my smile away
Every time you look my way
It fades away
I think it’s best it stays this way
Every time you look my way
Yeah, it fades away

You just wanna say hello to me
Now the table’s turned
I’m not lookin’ your way

Don’t get it wrong
Oh, it’s twisted up
Alright let’s make this story short

You see, I know it’s just a crush
And a crush won’t ever last long
No one’s forcing it, boy
So you I’ll put aside
Thought friends we would be
Oh, boy…
*Sadly you took my smile away
Every time you look my way
It fades away
I think it’s best it stays this way
Every time you look my way
Yeah, it fades away

Whao…
Why did it have to go down this way?
I’ll admit I feel you when you are near
Maybe baby we got it all wrong
*Sadly you took my smile away
Every time you look my way
It fades away
I think it’s best it stays this way
Every time you look my way
Yeah, it fades away

left 4 dead

played this game few months back...n like it...
decided to install since i got a hell lot of space on my hard disk...
and feel kinda ok fun game you see zombie n you kill it...and later try the online game
and feel like okok not bad....i think i gonna stick with this a game a while....
and around 1am i join singapore room since people say its better to go there than the outdated malaysia room...and fuck....I LOVE THIS GAME!!!!!!..i play from 1am to 6am the singaporean are great...gt girl also playin in that game...really pro gamers not like noobs from msia....
gonna play againXD...
update??later mayb...not really in the mood to blog but i couldnt keep this one haha..

where is she???

im back to the un happy state again...no mood to chat and stuff but i still in the mood to blog...maybe because i simply got no mood to do other stuff...actually i kinda sick of this...but then i still cant lift my mood up..you know something you just dont lose or gain it by forcing it...something like love u cant force someone to love you...and in my case i cant force myself to be happy..so some ask why my msn pm bye bye everyone...so i planning to stop online in march starting tomoro which is 2nd of march...until maybe im happy again??...why??i dont know..i think internet give us somewhat hope to get close wit fren,family and special one but then its not...just somewhat a false hope...and to me...no expectation no regret/disappointment...its not i wont online 100% still gonna check my mail still gonna dota online...still gonna cs...just less surf and super less msn in fact havent log in for few days...even if log in i put auto msg say im not in the mood to chat..i just simply dont know what gonna make me happy..now jogging alone since faris straighten his hair...watch movie with kay nyan is superb but then onli for a while then back to not so happy mood...work is fun but then that just not my place...somehow i feel i dont belong there..you know...the feel....you just feel it ...i need a fren to share my prob with??maybe...just that i not the type who tell everyone whats my prob....i still remember what i told abbie...try to be more positive....and she reply ..this is me i wont change who i am...then i say...if you change for the better isnt that only gonna bring you good?and she reply back..people already know me like this...and i was thinkin to myself...what is it so hard to change..isnt it all be easy if she change her lonesome attitude to more cheerful person and you cant expect people to come to you if you all quiet n stuff you must come to people to be part of it....but now im in that situation i think i understand that..its like no one to talk to..no right time...everyone seem busy with stuff..time seem not enough..and in the end gave up hoping on others and become depress like what i feel now...and people say technology is made to make us in contact easier...phone,cars,internet...well it doesnt seem to look that way eh..now everyone more busy than ever and even neighbour is stranger to some of us....i know im not the only one feeling this but then again...i feel so ......ALONE.....where are you?...



the 2nd song is same song but different female singer

can you hear it???the silence.......

been thinking...and i realize...i shouldnt think at all...yup another 1 am post..


random stories of me this past week....



FEAR
2 days ago had a nightmare....been into an accident..cant remember the detail much...but i still remember the colour...white...so basically maybe im gonna crash into some sort of building or white grayish car...so i thought..just another nightmare which i'll later forget....but then..yesterday...something really weird happen...4 stranger smile at me for no reason....as usual i look at passer by at work..somehow few ppl turn their face n smile at me...can you imagine that...you sitting in a bench in a park...st there do nothing...and the passer by just look at you and smile...thats just chill me out..is my time is near?..maybe....who knows.......shouldnt make jokes about death anymore..or stop thinking too much


IGNORANT
some say ignorant is bliss or something...buy a new shoe since the old one cant be use...i was thinkin...sigh gonna be a longgg day looking for cheap nice shoe...lets face t rm250 for a shoe??erm can buy hell lot of nice shirt n pant...rm150 is already ridicolously expensive to me...call me cheap but no shoe worth that much unless they wont wear out in your entire life...so i go to the 1st shop...spot a nice 1...look at the price tag and size...5sec and decided...ok i take this 1...LOL..wtf eh..the salesgirl there like darn happy when i say that...can see from her expression owh so fast buy^^...and the best thing about all that is...my father compliment me say i good in find item..hehe..my mother think i spend all day looking for shoe but the truth i go play left for dead with kah nyan and faris haha


TRUST
he lie me...i very sad....thats what jimmy say to me when she see me today...and then she continued...i want scold him but he scold me back....what you think i should say to her?....break up??she the 1 gonna be hurt...chill/relax?her dear just lie to her...how the fuck to chill?..woman..why they soo serious in relationship??...sometime i wonder...why do guys lie too much...i know is to please the girl but then again...if the grl found out...isnt it gonna so unplease the girl zilion time more than it please the girl??...last tuesday ah yoong bf just fly to taiwan to cont his study...she was crying and me n ah ming help her feel more miserable by saying her bf gonna find taiwan girl...LOL...i think in a relationship is learn to trust each other and be a bt considerate bout your partner...say for example a guy wan go drink with his friend but the wife dont like...so the guy say he got overtime...so basically...the small stuff beccome serious shit by a small white lie...theres absolutely nothing wrong with go drink with friends..and can be understand that maybe the wife want the guy to be at home more often but then if both also dont want to back off and betray the trust...isnt that just...if it was me...just listen to your wife or say..if you wan tag along come o....XDtheres nothing wrong with that rite?,,,,just sometime guys just too stupid to think of that and thinks the girl are slave at home and girls too stupid thinkin the guys are their 24-7 bodyguard...i not sayin this happen to many people or i am very experience in this just that i observe things and notice this and yeah the root of all problem...think too much...


PROBABILITY
thinking too much....after i think back...i shouldnt think too much...to those of you may notice this i dont talk much in real life and talk a lot of stuff online...thats just because im the type think first then act...or talk or whatever im doing..1 good example is today when jimmy say her bf lie to her...in 10 sec i already think a lot of stuff pros and cons if i talk this topic or that topic...shud i tell her to break up or sumthin...in the end i just say....so whats next?what you gonna do...nice reply eh?...kinda buy times n learn more of what happen..but then when think too much...say stuff like after spm...if i go there what can i do??if i choose this uni what the better thing than that college..in the end i din apply for anything^^...same thing now...result still havent out i already think what to do if get nice result or bad...plan this and that....but then what the point?the result still havent out...stupid as it may sound but most of my plan go down the drain when 1 tiny unexpected thing happen...such as....national service after spm...3 days after i get result i go to ns camp so i din apply much back then..like now im thinking another 10000 line for this post but do i want to cont???damn lazy....


REMINISCENCE
alex got segari camp lumut...which kinda make me remember all my fading memories there...how does it feel to have someone pretty much more or less the same ablity or personality with you?....i felt it there...our difference is our environment...he is my assistant as i was the company leader...we are born in the same day same year...kinda same way treat a girl,same clumsyness,same ego,same ability,same leadership,same thinking,same thoughness,both mentally strong,physically strong,both hated by many people,both got reliable great friend even though make many enemy,both look stupid when try to show off,both tiu others when other ppl make mistake and affacted others,both know there is a line that cant be crossed,both very competitive,both forgive ppl easily,both very direct..
its gonna be a long 1........

ok i hate him he hate me...i was the leader i ask him to be my assistant..guess what he say to me....he say i dunwan to be under you you not capable of being leader...and guess what i say?..yea and you say to your leader like this and do you think i want to be under you?..and he just say if i wan make him leader he gonna find other asistant so i hold my post n force him to be my asistant by askin the jurulatih...i oso knw how to be slick de....but then not like i feel treaten by him or what i want the best for company n to be honest even though hes an ass i still think he is good in term of leadership...so can say im very professional la...hahaand my judgement was right..we never talk about anything but our job during my 2 month+ stay there...he also not talk much n very observant cuz i work alongside him..very reliable...but then again until this very second he still think im a ass and i still think hes an asshole..so work with him like...i trust his judgment n he trust my judgment even though tiu me like shit he nvr blame me for anythin and yea i did the exact thing he did...can say an asshole i wont forget..memories is nice eh..

i guess thats all for now....too long eh...maybe pic post tomoro maybe next week that mean next month...1 month gt 4 week so mayb next 5 week...hehe thanks for reading!

just the kind of thought

i was thinkin what to name the title and then itunes song change to pink family potrait...i just dont like that and press next and just the kind of thought by rie fu haha..kinda perfect cause after few days of emo finally back to ownself haha..thx to several friend of mine and some unknown fella in dota haha...really make my dayXD..some ask la y im emo...gt few reason la...like sit at home do nothing,not talkin to any1,adibah goin australia,not hanging out with ppl,too much sleep,workplace many ppl holiday,new faces in workplace so not talkin,pc crashing a lot of time,game crash a lot of time,and few more la.. so can say i depressed??LOL mayb..now dota suddenly found some great ppl,all back to work as usual,can mix with new guy d,adibah still keep in touch even though darn far,now less sleep,game i just delete instead of dealin with the crash...if look at all the reason seems stupid eh?just because not talkin n sit at home do nothing become emo d...but then still emo LOL...too bad i no money now so sad de...yesterday jimmy ask me go k-box...but thinkin rm30.....>_<..pokai now haha wait paycheck n put in bank LOL.....wait all uni fren back then oni spend like hell againXD....erm i forget what to write ah....seems short eh??dunno i just happy and wan write to someone and this blog fit the role perfectlyXD haha....oh ya msn name..kelam ah..yesterday chat with ocean and she ask gt gf already ar???...i was like LOL swt=.=!!....my pm is 'kissing you oh my love' i wan to put that as name at 1st i wonder what ppl think if i put that as name eh...haha...actually its snsd song from sdo its called kissing you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYqGJ1NLpU8

game time!!!!

erm i dunnoe what to do these few days..try to play ps and like..wth wheres all my disc??!!!...my game look a lot but then theres nothing interestin to play...even ffx n ff12 doesnt interest me...so in the end ended up playin nfs most wanted hahaha weird eh.....try to play on9 game but cant oso sdo 2nd second is lag like hell...i bet the graphic card prob not the graphc card gt prob just wrong setting n stuff..which i lazy wan touch...what else...gt 2 kelam girl try to make me cry but in the end one of em ended up crying hahaha...online game...try to install luna online but the game just crash for dunnoe what reason ..really annoying....wont touch that game ever again..that 1 mayb nt my fault cause check in forum many say the game got a hell lot of bug and hell lot of hacker and some say the game dying already...so no point play...looks cute though...and yea finally thx to joe kor...no nid say what he did la just milion thx to him oniXD...and yea sometime easy for us to advice people because our mind are clear but then when we the one in trouble its hard to think clearly cause the thing we will do will affect our life ..sometime fear is a factor...i do have some fear too eh?nobodys perfect i guess..today quite kelam oso la..went to faris house as usual to jog but unfortunately he still in kl...i reach there n msg him then run around 30 min then he still havent come so call him...and guess what he still in kl hahaha..kelam eh...today...erm play dota n cs see see 10am d....now dunno wan do what...i guess to much free time oso troubled me...if do chores...30 min finish den dunno what to do hahaha....learn mandarin is boring,play guitar my hand stiff d...long time no play...watch porn..not really my thing....do party...who to invite all oso dunno where...go out no $$$$$..sleep ..too much sleep d...blog..dunnoe what to write...read blog..all read d..facebook...dunno who to kacau...msn all busy or idle...darn nid do somethin la.....take knife n stab myself...sound funXD


edited-haha now just finish chores thought wan play ran online see see server maintanence wtf rite?

al mio caro più caro

tomorrow one of my special friend will go to Australia....in this world i only got 3 of em...Kevin which is now in kl...hamizi which is now somewhere i dont know where......on my way home after work i kept on thinking should i go send her off tomorrow...honestly if it was hamizi I'll go....but i guess shes not eh....for some reason i damn lazy wanna go her house if gt many people...but then again i always hate crowd..and yea this is 2nd time...her father sure love the fact she going Australia eh..he's like telling the whole world that his daughter gonna continued her studies in overseas...one very proud father i must say....actually i already prepared 1 question for her to decide whether to go see or not but i just forget to ask...as usual...every time chat sure i got say...er wan ask u 1 thing but i forget already..well this tis the question....how important for me to be there?...but then i just forget and yea as usual i hate disturb people....i bet now shes either on the phone with her besties or just sleep cause tomorrow is 1 important day....



ok that thing there was written few days ago when i wan emo(LOL)..not in the mood to chat so sleep early thats y din finish...in fact i sleep very early these days...i think the last 3 days i never sleep later than 2am..ok now not so emo so basiclly i dunnoe what to write now hahah just listen to check yes julietXD....erm ok im out of word now....erm....thinkin...hahaha i just publish o....and yea 100 post....n quite special title i must say....bet many din know what it mean eh...

and yea hope she read this...this song for u~~

mr big-wild world

La...la...la...la...la

Now that I've lost everything to you
You say you want to start something new
And it's breaking my heart you're leaving
Baby I'm grieving

And if you wanna leave take good care
Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
A lot of nice things turn bad out there

Oh baby, baby, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
(yeah...) oh baby, it's a wild world
I'll always remember you like a child girl

You know I've seen a lot of
What the world can do
And it's breaking my heart in two
Coz I never want to see you sad girl
Don't be a bad girl

But if you wanna leave take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
Just remember there's
A lot of bad and beware

destiny....

i watch one chinese movie just now...1 part of the story the guy find the girl and...

guy-we were destined to be together
girl-because you love me
guy-no its because we are destined to be together
girl-why is it so hard for you to admit that you love me?
guy-if we not destined together we wouldnt meet,i wouldnt take 4 hour train ride n 3 hour car ride just to see you
girl-so you saying just because we destined we should be together?
guy-.....
girl-well then i give you until midnight to make me fall in love with you and lets see if this destiny thing really works.

i dont know what happen in the end i just watch a part of it cause sammi cheng acted in it but about destiny do you believe it?....in malay its called takdir. so do you belive in this thing?take my life for example...i always think what am i destined for??glory??or solitary??if u were to choose...both is pretty good choice.. i never dream of living in nyc or kl or any big city but then again i never dream of living a dull life of middle class people..so do we work for our destiny or just let things decide for itself??...sometime i wonder why is some working so hard to be the best?why is some just throw their life away as if it is nothing..do these people ever think of this?or is it just me thinkin bout stuff i shouldnt???..i always try to procrastinating things so that i can look at things better...1 of the things is entering form 6....i never apply for college or anything..beacause i couldnt see myself of what gonna happen to me if i do this or that...some time i think too much...some time things that seems important doesnt need time to think...if somehow i fail to get to college after the result is out...do i have any regret?mayb i do..or do i?...people say that being indecisive is the worst thing to have and i afraid to say....that is my biggest and worst weakness...do i have regret?i enjoy every second as prefect,i enjoy every second in drama practice,i enjoy every second of cock talking with kevin,if i enter college....i definitely wont meet one of my dearest dear now..definitely wont be as positive as today...definitely wont be in dilemma for my future...destiny?maybe am i destined to enter form 6?and am i destined to be a happy person in form 6 but a nobody in real world?..sad to say ...i just wish if this 1 things work out....all these will end....theres no more destiny for me to wonder...there will be a straight wide long road ahead of me...just 1 chance....to make everything right.....and hopefully ........it will end....i guess.......only time will tell....

new blog song

i put 2 song and since valentine is near i put 2 love song haha...but never really celebrate it n mayb probably never will hahahaXD oh n yeah your story my song is updated

if you come to me

So long ago
I didn't have a care about me
I didn't know my right from wrong
But now I know
That you've got your love around me
You know it makes me feel so strong
Baby if you turn around
And prove to me its real
Maybe we can work it out
Cos this is how I feel

Do you know where you go when you give it all away
I'll be there for you, care for you
Love you everyday oh baby
And do you feel the same for me?
Everyday you're away
And I feel a little low
I would cry for you, die for you
Just to let you know oh baby
And if you come to me you know I'll make it right

Through out all my life
I never thought I'd have somebody
Someone to call my own
And now I've found
A little bit of heaven baby
A place to call my own

Baby if you turn around
And prove to me its real
Maybe we can work it out
Cos this is how I feel

Do you know where you go when you give it all away
I'll be there for you, care for you
Love you everyday oh baby
And do you feel the same for me?
Everyday you're away
And I feel a little low
I would cry for you, die for you
Just to let you know oh baby
And if you come to me you know I'll make it right

Hey there dont you know
You gotta slow down before you know
You gonna brake down and turn around
Before you know, you go and break my heart
When will you learn to be
A little helpful when you think of me
A little careful when you're close to me
Coz baby i loved you from the start

Baby if you turn around
And prove to me its real
Maybe we can work it out
Cos this is how I feel

(I love you)

Do you know where you go when you give it all away
I'll be there for you, care for you
Love you everyday oh baby
And do you feel the same for me?
Everyday you're away
And I feel a little low
I would cry for you, die for you
Just to let you know oh baby

Do you know where you go when you give it all away
I'll be there for you, care for you
Love you everyday oh baby
And do you feel the same for me?
Everyday you're away
And I feel a little low
I would cry for you, die for you
Just to let you know oh baby
And if you come to me you know I'll make it right

cool song for valentine eh...kinda addicted to it haha..